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Wednesday, March 14, 2012

30 Topics ~ Full Circle


~ The List ~ 



1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrasing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misundertand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for. 



So today I am doing #3 from the list. It just seems better to go in order at this point. 

3. Describe your relationship with your parents.

My only biological living parent is my Daddy. He and I were very close when I was little. I guess that came from us being it. He was married for a short time when I was a baby and up til I was maybe 6 or 7. I don't recall much about Step Mom #1. I'm sure the memories are there somewhere, I've just blocked them out. 


After that, it was just us. He worked on cars from his shop I think he built on our property. It could've been there when he bought the place in the early 80s. I've never really asked. Up until I was about 11 we stayed close. We still talked and he patiently answered my 1,000,000+ questions about random things. He was always fairly honest and straightforward in his answers about my Mom. I knew even as a child he didn't want to talk about it, so I rarely asked about her. 

When Step Mom #2 came along it all slowly started to unravel. He and I didn't talk about anything anymore. He took a back seat to parenting and gave her full rein. Very seldom did he ever have talks with me over behavior or any role in punishments. She handled all that. I am fairly certain she influenced many decisions. Meaning, she said how it was going to be and he went along. I can only suppose though, since those talks were behind closed doors, of course. I tried to be close to her because the child in me needed a Mom. She took advantage of that and was very hurtful in nonphysical ways. I learned to stop giving her that power and satisfaction. She and I had a major brouhaha when I turned 16. It was Spring Break and a for the week she left. But before she left she wanted the last word. Tried telling me Daddy would have to choose and he would choose her. I point blank told her that in the end it would always be me. Even if she came back and I left, in the end it will be me. She had no idea what to say about that and I got the last word, for once. After that week she came back and I moved out. 

I didn't have much to do with either my Daddy or Step Mom #2 after that. It hurt too much to visit and have her toss barbs my way. I only started visiting Daddy again after I got married. Hubs went once  without me after we were married to introduce himself to my Daddy and say he had married me and he thought he should know. Hubs doesn't talk much about that visit but he did say that he never knew anyone as vicious as Step Mom #2. You can just imagine what she had to say behind my back to him. I don't know what he said to her if anything. It was probably a big shock to him that she was that way. But that started us going over just to say hi and I would smile and ask how she was. We never stayed more than an hr at a time. Really, I think we only visited often so Daddy could see Sean. 

When Sean was maybe 7mos old or so Step Mom #2 died. Hubs once again Hubs had to convince me to do the right thing. Go to the funeral. Be there for Daddy. So we went. That day is the first day Daddy and I started talking, really talking again. He told me that he was sorry for all she did and she had asked his forgiveness for the past and to tell me so. 

Years later Daddy is now married to a wonderful woman. She is the Mom I wish I had grown up with. Better late than never. She and I are able to sit and chat about almost anything. We've gone shopping together a few times. It's nice to have a Mom figure all my own. Thanks to her Daddy sat down one night and told me of the night my Mom had died. I now know the events of Mom's life and how it led to the end. I now understand why it is Dad suppressed it rather than deal with it. It's a painful. Even now, thinking on the conversation, I can see it still hurts him. I cannot take that pain away for him. But ever so occasionally we talk about it. 

Some how we have come full circle and we are close once again. Maybe not as close as before or as close as we may have been if we hadn't been forced apart. I'm just happy we have a better relationship now and we visit often. 

So Daddy and I are not best friends but we are not worlds apart either. He's still my Daddy and I am still his little girl. We both know that we will be there for each other. I don't let people say bad things about him. It's one thing if it's true. It's another if they question his love for me or what he should or should not be doing.



2 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing all that. I'm glad you're rebuilding your relationship with your dad. My stepmom is pretty cool. I got lucky.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lots of people are lucky that way. Just wasn't meant to be for me. I fully believe going through all that was made me stronger and more able to handle Sean. Thanks!

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