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Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Positive Tuesdays Beginnings

So this morning I was feeling kind of down. I couldn't tell ya why, I just was. Maybe it's a combo of things.

I feed Meg breakfast. Normally I join her but I just wasn't hungry.

Instead I take the moment to start laundry. This leads to putting up kids jeans from last night (no way ever do I put their clothes up at bedtime whether they're sleep or not). As hubby leaves for the day I sigh and "Sean doesn't have a pair of jeans w/o holes. I hope he doesn't get in trouble at school." I don't clarify my worry further. (I'm sure he got my point, yes we bought them new shoes, all of them even though Bridge was the most in need. Now we need to get new jeans and oh yeah it's warm now so shorts, too.) Instead I ask him to please hug Meg before he goes as I do not want a repeat of yesterdays meltdown cause daddy didn't hug her goodbye.

I'm rather proud that I didn't allow myself to go in worry straight to panic mode over those damn jeans. We try our very best to make sure the kids have what they need. To heck with school and there stupid no holes in jeans rules. These are elementary kids! They are hard on clothes! We are doing our best to survive right now. So if the school calls or sends a note home, I so hope I can convey that will do our best to fix the issue ASAP.

But then...I forgot it's Tuesdays with Connor for my BFF Rach. I am a bit envious I cannot join or have my day with her. At the same time I don't want her to feel bad for having fun and getting out of the house. Lord knows I do it as often as I can when hubby is home. Even if it's just to run an errand kid free. Too many times me and Rach have to sneak whatever time we can get. For some reason unbeknownst to us even when we make plans the universe has other ideas. Plus, she is kid free most of the day as both her darlings go to school all day. Me? 2 of my 3 go to school all day. Add to the fact that my car has been giving me fits lately. Hubby fixing what he can when he can just to keep the old thing running. He also tends to use my car over his truck. I can't for life of me recall why just now but I think one reason may be that it gets better gas mileage than his truck.

Then as beds are made, Meg is occupied (with PBS kids and my iPad), I decide to take a bath. I remind Meg not to answer the door or the phone. Double check doors are locked and no one can harm my darling baby w/o my noticing. I start bath, tune on Pandora to listen to Jane Monheit station. Again proud that I didn't chose music to fit my down mood but something to lift/relax it. I say to myself, I. Will. Not. Allow myself to go down this road. This road leads to insane crying and sometimes anxiety attack. Commence filling tub and resisting urge to use girls princess bubble bath.

While soaking I am thinking but not, ya know? Then I think I should blog bout Sean and watering plants yesterday. That leads me to wonder if I could successfully start a Positive Tuesday blog posting? Would anyone want to particiapte? Would anyone even notice/care since I'm new blogger and all? I mean, I barely know which end is up on this blogging thing. I guess I'm faking it til I make it. *shrug*

So here it goes any way. I'm sure I'll figure out how it's all gonna work along the way. Of course, helpful thoughts and advice along the way will be truly appreciated. =)

This has been Positive Tuesdays Beginnings.

1 comment:

  1. I am sorry you were down in the dumps yesterday :( I was donating blood to Carter and Connor only has one week left till he works normal Mon - Fri hours. I am looking forward to this summer. The big thing is that we live across town from each other and the school day isn't long enough. I am hoping that during the summer, we can get together more often and w/o school and other things, we will have longer days to hang out. Besides, my moods have been swinging out of control and I didn't wanna bring you down.


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