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Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Happy Anniversary, Baby!

So today is mine and my hubby's 15th Wedding Anniversary! A seemingly amazing number in this day and age. Which is kind of sad to me. I know a handfull who got married at about the same time as we did, give or take a year or two, and are no longer together for this reason or that. Only me, my BFF Rach, and one other friend are still married. My hubby/me & BFF/her hubby were the ones they said would not make it. Shows what they knew, right?

I was 18 and he was 20. This is really young even by todays standards. I am ever so thankful and proud we made it this far. We did it with a lot of help from family and frineds, at times, and even more help from God. There are several occasions it would've been easy to give up and walk away. I'm ever so glad we are still giving it all we got.

Dave is a great person! A lot of people miss that. I didn't. He's the kind of person that you really gotta get to know. If you met him you'd think he's so nice. But like most people, you gotta dig deeper. See what's what. I'm not sure a lot of people could've handled me as well as he does. We have our share of tiffs, to be sure, but we always come back better and stronger.

I'm not sure I could be as open about my past with anyone, if he and his family had not accepted me for who and what I was. They told me I was their's same as if they gave birth to me. It's because of them that I slowly found my faith again. My trust in God. Slowly started finding my path. Who I am.

Who I am is more than just a wife and a mother. I am a survivor. I am living breathing proof that God does exist and watches out for us even when we are not aware of it. Dave, he helped me to see this. His family, too. I realized I am not the only one bad, or extremely bad things, happen to. But that you cannot let it define you. You cannot let it be your excuse or crutch.

We had 5 years together before Sean came along in 2001. 5 wonderful years we got to grow together. Sure, we wanted kids in the worst way from the get go, but it wasn't in the cards. As with everything, it happens for a reason. God has a plan.

15 years later we have three of the best kids out there. OK, so that's biased. I'll live with it. They are our miracles. Little pieces of us and our families'. Each one with their own special story and path.

15 years ago I said I do and though I may joke from time to time about upgrading or whatever, I know that Dave is a piece of me. A piece I'd miss as surely as I miss those I've lost in my life.

15 years ago today,or days before or days after, I was sitting on our bed practicing how I'd sign my name. I thought at the time that it was such a childish thing to do, but now I'm not so sure.

15 years ago today, my BFF rushed herself to be at my wedding as my Maid of Honor as my Matron of Honor couldn't make it (for reasons related to her pregnancy though I'm not sure it was labor). She helped keep a frantic husband to be calm about my tardiness. No, not cold feet on my part or anything. I was with my future MIL who is almost always chronically late. So yes, I was late to my own wedding and Rach met me in the parking lot and practically shouted, "Thank God you are here! He thought you left him at the alter!" How that crossed his mind when I was with his mother I have no idea. He really should've known why I was late. Then again, wedding days are strange emotional filled days.

15 years ago today, I giggled with Rach as I took off my shoes and shoved them under a pew. You see, I'd failed to break the darn things in and they were killing my feet!

15 years ago today, I rode in the car to my Wedding Reception smiling like a fool holding hands with my brand new husband. Watching in awe and disbelief as he called the local light radio station (KVIL 103.7 FM) to request a song for his new wife. The thought of that gesture and the wow factor that was listening to him through the radio speakers, still brings tears to my eyes. The song, was Chicago's You're the Inspiration.

15 years ago I began a new journey in my life. Baby I Love You!! Here's to 15+ more years! You constantly inspire me to be more than I am. To improve. You are forever understanding of my flaws. You've seen some of the darkest days of my life and never batted an eyelash when I needed you. Never balked when I'd wake screaming in the night. Never failed to make the decision to go to the hospital when I was pregnant with the girls and having pre term labor problems. You made me feel less ridiculous at those moments. Even though you grunted at my desire to change out of my jammies and brush my teeth.

God sent me you and now we are happy! We are one, yet still uniquely us.

I. Love. You.

Here are two songs I dedicate to you today!