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Thursday, September 6, 2012

Rough Seas, Boat Still Afloat

Sean came home this past Monday. He had been doing well in the hospital. Meds were adjusted/changed. Had a splendid hour off the unit. We asked if he could come home on Monday so that the transition back to regular school might go smoother.

I'd really like to say that all is smooth and lovely but it's not. I'm sure that would not be the answer anyone with any sense would expect me to say. Unless, of course, I didn't want to talk about it or anything. It's been rocky to say the least.

Last night looked like it could go off the charts ballistic. It didn't help that I was already not handling my frustration of the day well at all. By the time the kids got into the truck from the parent pick up line I was on the border of crazy. Add 3 kids instantly all whining about this or that and it was going downhill fast. I got home and put myself in time out. Sean had lost a school library book and it was stolen by his sister. Forget trying to talk him out of that. He was adament Meg took it. Meg screehing her innocence. Bridge upset that how dare Meg get her box of chocolate for the school fundraiser and I should have known it was her permission slip not Meg's. Forget the fact that getting another slip would be easy. UGH! After the trip home and the ages long episode of insanity in the kitchen, I yelled "I'm going to time out!"

Brilliant example. Of how not to act. Got that all settled and worked out and then came dinner. HOLY COW what a mess that was becoming. I couldn't wait for it to be over and kids in bed. Which thank the good Lord went blissfully smooth without incident. While I might not have been on my game after school, dinner was much better. Hubs was there to back me up and even though he too was clearly grouchy we got it done.

I think Sean's meds are right or at least close to it. He seems less agitated and I guess more focused. But really, the focus thing is something they'd notice at school. So far so good. I do worry a bit about it seems he is more fidgety than usual but that he can sit in a spot for a bit and pays attention when you talk. Also, worried about this new thing the hospital mentioned that Sean was showing signs of fitting into, PDD or Pervasive Developmental Disorder. Not sure what that all is but we are finding out about it. Basically, it's Sean is physically 10 but in someways he's more like 5 or younger.

The best thing seems to be that so far we are a team around here. We all understand that it's not going to roses every day and that some days the ones that handle it the best are going to falter and need extra back up and maybe even understanding. Hubs had already been in touch with the school about setting up an ARD Meeting to discuss a better plan for this based on our new knowledge and concerns. That's usually something I would think to do. But before the dust could settle on getting him home, Hubs had put that into action. Not something he would normally do. I think even BIL is understanding that he has a role to play here, too. The role of involved Uncle. He sat down Tues evening and helped Sean and Bridge play Battleship with the special deck of cards. He sat there in the living room floor for over 30 minutes. It was awesome and made my day. I bragged about it to Hubs, a friend, and Mom. I hope BIL continues to do those sorts of things. Later that same evening we (Hubs, me, kids) played Uno Attack. A SUPER BIG HIT! Even Hubs enjoyed the several rounds we played and he was the one to say it was a hit!

Maybe last night was about each individuals frustrations and then the being told no friends houses and no games tonight. I was fixing dinner and cleaning up the kitchen floor (MIL used a spray cleaner on the floor that was too soapy and Daisy is in heat soo....) for the millionth time. The friends house thing is something that scares the shit out of me. The girls have friends they want to play with but who don't ask to if they can play or if they can play here. Sean has few friends and really doesn't handle social things well. Plus, all these kids get to play violent video games and we have done away with those. Our failed experiment of seeing if those could be an outlet. Yes, I know all the lectures on that. No, not every kid is the same. Blah blah blah... Moving forward. I worry that he can't say no or that he does and then a fight happens. Ya know?

All in all, we are still finding our way. Really no different than any other family. We just have a few extra things we struggle with. I still know we are okay. We are still a family and we all love each other even if we are made as hornets at each other. I know we are not going to let it keep us down or define us. Our sea may be rocky but our boat is still afloat.


  1. Wow, sounds tough. I'm so glad you can keep a good attitude about it along the way!

    1. Absolutely. Some days I lean more towards faking a good attitude til I make it. But that does tend to keep me from going completely nuts.


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