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Sunday, October 16, 2011

Coming Back Together ~ The Beginning

I am on a mission.

I have fully accepted this mission and I mean to attain it.

This is way more important than  when me and Hubs mucked out our room. Like 1,000,000 x Infinity more important.

I blogged awhile back about things are what they are but they don't have to be. I've been in prayer and meditation about it. Yes I have. I am almost positive the time is now.

Today while sitting in church and listening to the message on forgiveness I realized I had nearly forgotten about it. About my mission. What I want and need. Not only for me but my for family. Not just my immediate family but the whole family. Too long our family has been apart and dare I say living in the past. Holding onto past hurts and insults (for lack of better wording).

I don't know what I can do about it. All I know is that someone must be the beginning. I know I can do this. Not alone but with God backing me. With prayers and positive thoughts.

It's all powerful stuff. We do not have to be separate. We have chosen to be so because it is easier to not face it and pretend it doesn't exist. To just let the chasm in the family get bigger and bigger. It can end with us. Those that choose to face facts. To see that we are only hurting ourselves. The not knowing each other and the families we've begun. It's like my kids are paying for what happened 32+ years ago.

I happen to be in the middle of both sides of the original catalyst. I get it. I know the pain. But the way it went down does not have to continue through the generations. We cannot hold onto all the pain and hate or it will tear each of apart and drive us crazy.

The past is the past. It is what it is and cannot be changed. It's what we do with it that matters. For too long hate, pain, fear have ruled. Now it is time for love, healing, forgiving, and moving on to begin.

I don't know how. Actually, yes I do. One step. Just taking the first step. It has to begin somewhere. I know my Mom would not want her family to be the way it is now. Old hurts and new ones causing the family to separate and be weakened. I know my Grandma wouldn't want that either. Their lives meant more than that.


I am on a mission.

I have fully accepted this mission and I mean to attain it.